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1. Notebooks with holes in the paper like windows on random pages. 

2. Orange juice filled fish tanks.

3. A toy that omits a wave that let's you draw inside clouds like an etchasketch 

4. Marbles thst contain the ash of dead loved ones inside. 

5 Drone drop days - when drones drop presents for people all over the world so they all lighten up about the whole drone thing. 


1. A grocery store that also offers the use of a nice kitchen, dishes and tables.

2. Free bike lights @ DMV.

3. White board car paint. Attach dry erase markers all over for people to draw with. 

4. White board bike paint.

5. Weed smuggled in professionally packaged tea bags and boxes.


1. A pill to make your swear taste and smell like chocolate.

2. A pill for make your poop smell profusely like roses. 

3. A porn site called:

4. Repaint the yellow lines on the highway blue just to fuck with you. 

5. Introduce a new species to your town over ten years. Keep buying more (of that animal) every pay check and releasing them to the streets. 


1. Solar panel hats.

2. Fitness center that powers lights with workout machines.

3. Candy flavored nail polish.

4. Juice milk

5. A law that illegalizes the use of plastic bags at stores. 


1. Line a dark path in the woods with Christmas lights.

2. Ghost stories about toasts coming out of dirty diapers to scare children in to alerting the parent when they poopy. 

3. Fear based quit smoking plan. 

4. Little plastic windows in the front of milk cartons to see the contents. 

5. Lighter doozie that has pockets. 


1. Floating Movie theater. 

2. Underwear with pockets.

3. Under water vending machines.

4. Shark tanks that float in public pools.

5. Coffee mugs that have a light in the bottom that shines up. 



1. Airport safe bike bags that turn in to bike racks for bike touring. 

2. Shoes that look like turtles 

3. Food balls of all the different food groups crammed in to a ball. 

4. Hats made out of marshmallow. 

5. First aid kit that can be placed inside your bike seat post. 



1. Step counter app on your phone.

2. Coffee Cups with a little tiny window on one side so you can see through to the liquid.

3. Come get free pancakes @ May day in 2 months. (gettin' excited)

4. Writing paper that is hollow and filled with goo so its more fun to write on.

5. A mathematical equation to determine the bare minimum amount of energy needed to grow an adult human.


Donut Shop

1. Translucent sidewalk squares that have items for sale underneath. 

2. LCD stickers that can be changed remotely.

3. Whiskey breath suckers for people who want to smell like alcoholics. 

4. Juice coffee - just mix em together

5. Reindeer prints in sidewalk cement in Minneapolis. 


Shrink Wrap

1. A packing material that is not wasteful - maybe even beneficial.

2. Fill packages with dirt instead of peanuts. (put contents in a plastic bag)

3. Card board boxes with mushroom spores in it so it breaks down better.

4. City composting on every other block.

5. Boxes that shrink to the size of the object inside.


Solidified roadkill coffee tables.

1. Have 6 children. Name them all one of the senses.

2. Finding Andrew #2 (by the idea factory) Alaska

3. Clothes to put on your computer.

4. Have 6 children name them all a different color.

5. Solidified roadkill coffee tables.


Fair treatment certified.

1. For a commercial: gather up all the people begging for money on the street and make a music video with them in it. Pay them many dollars.

2. Blow up guiders for streets like they have at bowling lanes.

3. National sled to work day.

4. Keyboards that light up the keys in different colors depending on what day for the week it is in case you often forget.

5. A plant nursery that ALWAYS plays classical music to their plants. Fair treatment certified.


Candy Chips

1. Color one pubic hair blue and one red. See what one can grow longer than your penis first!

2. Google glasses that make everything you see Mindkraft blocks so you can virtually rearrange the world.

A campaign to make people not so homophobic: Gay community fruit tree sale

3. A campaign to make people make less trash: wheat paste dead whales on all the dumpsters in the city.

4. Color one pubic hair blue and one red. See what one can grow longer than your penis first!

5. Candy chips, chips with candy in the bag too!



1. Passwords for internet accounts that change depending on what day it is.

2. Public yoga matts cemented in the ground for hobo yoga.

3. Secret storage compartments in sidewalk squares.

4. Liquidator - a machine that grinds up old food for your dog - save on your pet expense - LIQUIDATE COSTS!

5. Mouse pads with your face on them!



1. A building built for people to burn it down when they are angry.

2. Big thermos containers that get small at the bottom so you can fit them in your car cup holder.

3. Make a contribution to by sending 5 pictures of your art to be showcased.

4. Get a cat, name it 'GF'

5. Free frozen yogurt out front of a really nice coat store during the winter. A sign that says 'cold doesn't scare us'



1. An app that turns your hand writing in to computer font. 

2. A contest to see who can walk the furthest during a 1 year period. 

3. Semi perminant skin dye. 

4. Scratch and sniff woman's underwear. 

5. Mirror tubes that bring sunlight in to the basement. 


Mr Jordan

1. Wood cars with wooden wheels.

2. Parking garages underground so as not to take up space. 

3. Bike team jerseys that say IDEA. 

4. Hoodies at have a red light on the left shoulder and a green one on the right (like a boat)

5. All City super soaker fight (open to the public) 


Message Queen

1. Graffiti recolor the ice rink with kool-aid.

2. Put a TV in the ice @ hockey games.

3. A show where they interview a randomly selected person from the world. If selected you must be interviewed (like jury duty)

4. A movie told from inside a package that is being sent to where the story ends.

5. A website that lets you send delayed emails to your self so you can talk to your self in the future.



1. Marshmallow cups that have a coating of meltable mallow on the inside for hot chocolate. 

2. Virtual suicide experience (website)  

3. Mini elevators for children and midgets. 

4. Moose Flavored ice cream (the animal) 

5. A whole movie with only ur feet as the characters.


Foot Trough

1. Go to college - Record every class you go to - make a youtube channel called freecollege

2. Stilts sold outside of sold out baseball games so you can see over the fence.

3. Lost dog section on craigslist

4. Long troughs filled with warm water at the foot of your couch for foot baths while you watch Net Flix.

5. Lotion that makes you look super weird in any picture taken - Looks normal in real life


I don't really know if anyone reads these... I have 11k followers on Twitter - 3800 on FB and (I'm convinced they don't actually exist. )

I have been coming up with ideas for a while.

I will most likely continue to do this until I'm 55.

If you like em, subscribe to my email list @ -

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1. 'Glory Hole' shower curtains for sexy showers when ever you please.

2. Dog perfume

3. - where you bid to kill. (like but for killing)

4. Not Christian but like Christmas? NEWTONMAS! His b day was on Dec. 25th and his bible is science.

5. All bike lane city. NO CARS


Bike Skitchin'



3. Stickers welcoming Skitching:

4. Bike that can fill up with water so you do not need a water bottle. Drink like camel back (from tube)

5. Solid Gold Bike given to biggest bike innovation of every five years.


Tree Service - Ocean Fresh

1. Tree service that cuts your trees then turns it in to paper for you to use.

2. See through couches with sand and Ants inside to make giant ant farm couch.

3. Socks that use the curves in your feet to fill  a print of a sexy curvey lady. 

4. Government job: ocean janitor 

5. Window washer for I pads 


Color Crayon Printer

3d crayon printers that let you create any color crayon 

Piggy bank machines that store money in hard drive - takes bills like pop machine 

Scanners made to quickly scan entire note books

Lie creator app

Random game day


Rice Fried Dumbling

1. Cigarette smoking simulator glasses.

2. Plastic surgery see through stomach to watch yourself digest.

3. Free Wedding thursdays at the park

4. solar charging implanted dog cams to time-lapse pictures from dogs entire life

5. Vibrating pens to practice good writing


Play Kids Play!

1. Bathroom tiles of different pictures of your life.

2. Freedom - Nicotineless cigarettes

3. Playground that generates movement of kids to generate power the city. PLAY KIDS PLAY!

4. Tattoo eyeballs on your balls

5. Kids shirt with a picture of the inside of their tummy with a key in the bottom of it.


Plastic printer paper

1. Random color sharpie (30 cents cheaper)

2. Band flyer app that takes your picture for your lame band and makes a generic band flyer with your dumb faces on it.

3. Food unions. Pay into like insurance, get meal cards with participating restaurants.

4. Buy a generally ok brand of something, re decorate the box then re sell it as a different product.

5. Plastic printer paper made from melted computer parts.


Though I missed ya...

Strap on tails

One handed salad - for eating with 1 hand while driving

Dog smelling museums for dogs to smell the pee of many different exotic animals

Candy ropes made for climbing in case you are extremely hungry

@fiveideasaday: Goats free in the city to now grass


Boast dog

1. Trash bags that wirelessly transmit how much waste we accumulate

2. Marijuana seed bomb entire freeway.

3. Only wear mascara on your lower eye lash

4. Self tickle machine

5. Shirts that look holographic when you take a picture of it ( shiney shirt)

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